Well gang, here it is the last day of March. I've been making my list of funnies, feel goods, and a few frustrations. Looking back on my calendar, I realize that I have written most of them in short pieces, just enough to remind me what they were about. Alas, my menopausal mind (yes, menopause truly eats brain cells) has succumbed to the memory lapse, so I am going to give you the exact notes that are on my calendar and see if you can make up your own story to go with them. This will test your creativity, let's hear a few ideas.
March 4th - Students asks me to bring up email on projector for his powerpoint. User name is "bigwood".
March 6th - Light board burns up during assembly.
March 12th - Mr. C left luncheon with ketchup on crotch, didn't tell. Guilt
March 17th - Mr. D getting canned from budget cuts. Damn Obama
March 18th - Slip in hallway, dress
March 19th - Student "What's the holocaust?"
March 20th - "If a dog eats homework in the forest, is it an excuse?"
March 22nd - Dad would have been 80 today.
March 25th - BO is strong in 3rd period. Turn on SCENT-C overload. GAG
March 27th- Student "is that a parenthesis, or a quotation mark?
March 30th- "Jews don't believe in Jesus, they believe in Jewsis and wear those little black bowls on their head.
March 30th- "No money for supplies or books next year." I remember this one, I have to use my teacher allotment to buy replacement books for students. Do you think I will be thrown in jail first for copying chapters of books?"
March 30th- "Learn new email." Called IRONMAIL 3rd time this year.
March 31th- 14 kids gone from 4th period for extra-curricular activities. What education?
March 31th- I need some funny pick up lines for the battle of the sexes assembly.
3 comments:
"March 31th" was a good one. :D
OK... I searched some stupid pick up lines (WARNING - SOME ARE *WAY* CHEESY):
"Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} It's just that...your numbers are not in it."
"If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."
"See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."
"If you were a booger I would pick you first."
"Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?"
"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!"
"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me."
"Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas."
Do you want some crackers with the cheese? I do like the Mr. Right one.
On march twenty-fifth, who is Bo? Is he a student? I assume he is an athlete or weightlifter? Did he help move some desks with his strength? I bet I am stronger than some High school student.
Its best that you didnt tell Mr. C about the Ketchup on his crotch it could be misconstrued as sexual harrasment, ya know looking at his crotch and all.
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